I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
