I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
