She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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