He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
