that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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