theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
