D3 body, D1 cock
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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