I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
