how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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