I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
