I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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