Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
