isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
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