I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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