Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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