Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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