I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
