we're chasing vodka with high fives
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
