oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I didn't notice because vodka
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Randomize