Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
