while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize