I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.