things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
