Texts From Last Night

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  (571): View more from Virginia

  capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.

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  (571): capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid. http://tfl.nu/gx7i
  Replies (9) Good night (3861) Bad night (698)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.

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  (847): She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses. http://tfl.nu/wrem
  Replies (50) Good night (1363) Bad night (4774)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.

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  (732): I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something. http://tfl.nu/rxn8
  Replies (22) Good night (4228) Bad night (1610)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  not a thing

  (613): View more from Ontario

  walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom

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  (613): do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom? (1-613): not a thing (613): walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom http://tfl.nu/euwx
  Replies (19) Good night (1045) Bad night (5277)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life

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  (713): jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life http://tfl.nu/bfvb
  Replies (27) Good night (4651) Bad night (1275)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...

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  (734): Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages... http://tfl.nu/0g83
  Replies (14) Good night (4552) Bad night (1711)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.

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  (207): He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ. http://tfl.nu/rtl1
  Replies (25) Good night (9667) Bad night (1122)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.

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  (306): I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car. http://tfl.nu/2mw2
  Replies (15) Good night (5894) Bad night (1319)
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  (845): View more from New York

  she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.

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  (845): she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there. http://tfl.nu/dzx0
  Replies (3) Good night (2737) Bad night (872)
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  (315): View more from New York

  My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.

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  (315): My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw. http://tfl.nu/z7bn
  Replies (10) Good night (3598) Bad night (1193)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.

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  (724): I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser. http://tfl.nu/pdzm
  Replies (6) Good night (562) Bad night (1990)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.

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  (312): I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again. http://tfl.nu/hmft
  Replies (0) Good night (690) Bad night (370)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk

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  (954): Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk http://tfl.nu/mlfk
  Replies (3) Good night (410) Bad night (748)
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  (212): View more from New York

  No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?

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  (212): No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe? http://tfl.nu/wrdf
  Replies (0) Good night (505) Bad night (397)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home

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  (260): As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home http://tfl.nu/2g79
  Replies (8) Good night (964) Bad night (257)

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