Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.

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(864): Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint. http://tfl.nu/at98

Replies (14) Good night (4279) Bad night (815)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife

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(828): the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife http://tfl.nu/ib00

Replies (67) Good night (8017) Bad night (2316)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.

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(601): Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit. http://tfl.nu/lbl1

Replies (7) Good night (2601) Bad night (715)
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(714): View more from California

considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned

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(714): considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned http://tfl.nu/7fpn

Replies (3) Good night (3411) Bad night (927)
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(847): View more from Illinois

And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"

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(847): And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!" http://tfl.nu/eczk

Replies (5) Good night (3870) Bad night (951)
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(317): View more from Indiana

She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean

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(317): She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean http://tfl.nu/wqi7

Replies (11) Good night (884) Bad night (4329)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on

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(506): Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on http://tfl.nu/ntvw

Replies (8) Good night (5781) Bad night (829)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.

(785): View more from Kansas

I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.

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(785): Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock. (785): I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice. http://tfl.nu/kw5d

Replies (9) Good night (1653) Bad night (626)
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(760): View more from California

I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.

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(760): I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/o963

Replies (7) Good night (942) Bad night (341)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will

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(313): Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will http://tfl.nu/g3an

Replies (6) Good night (779) Bad night (430)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love

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(847): I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love http://tfl.nu/ldev

Replies (3) Good night (444) Bad night (710)
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(914): View more from New York

bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house

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(914): bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house http://tfl.nu/ryv7

Replies (5) Good night (446) Bad night (816)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.

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(603): After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe. http://tfl.nu/65wu

Replies (4) Good night (534) Bad night (1128)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?

(603): View more from New Hampshire

that happened

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(508): Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing? (603): that happened http://tfl.nu/dxuy

Replies (1) Good night (319) Bad night (468)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.

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(616): Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara. http://tfl.nu/f265

Replies (2) Good night (565) Bad night (231)

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