Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country