Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(626): View more from California

I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards

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(240): View more from Maryland

Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..

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(571): View more from Virginia

i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days

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(812): View more from Indiana

Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(603): View more from New Hampshire

I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.

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(316): View more from Kansas

He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka

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(213): View more from California

I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.

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(541): View more from Oregon

If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.

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