some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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