i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
