Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
