She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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