I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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