He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
