its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize