I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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