would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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