using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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