I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
