You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You dont lie about slip and slides
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
