she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
