is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
my liver is dry heaving
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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