whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
