I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
