I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
