OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
