i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
