you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just googled if crying burns calories
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
