I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
third nipple confirmed
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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