He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
