She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
