You really coming over, don't trick.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
