Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
