fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize