actually, I'm a sock model
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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