i was born a porn star she said
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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