Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
