If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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