We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
