terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
