the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
