EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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