you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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