My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
