Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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